Monday, February 9, 2004

The Top 15 Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings

15> My love for you... it came and went.
So your feet are now in wet cement.

14> I'm here To fulfill your fondest wishes
Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.

13> Lie down with me -- it's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa.

12> I picked up this card from a slim selection
But that's all they offer here in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe

11> I've waited so long for you to be mine.
Now that Sinatra's dead, be *my* Valentine.

10> Be my Valentine, and we can do it execution-style.

9> Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass;
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I'll have to whack your ass.

8> Violets are blue, roses are red,
I blew up your car -- So why ain't you dead?

7> The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look
You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
So shut your mouth and cook!

6> Hey.

5> Youse da greatest. Youse da best.
But you're as untouchable as Elliot Ness.

4> Lust is fleeting, true love lingers.
Be mine always and you'll keep your fingers.

3> Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.

2> Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand
So I won't be a self-made man.

and's Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day Greeting...

1> When a goon makes you die,
Cuz you told him goodbye -- that's amore!

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